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Thread: Warning to men, womens' 17 rules

  1. #1
    Poof no eyebrows klauss's Avatar
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    Default Warning to men, womens' 17 rules

    1.The female makes the rules.

    2.The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior
    notification.

    3.No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules
    are not permitted.

    4.If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules,
    she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

    5.The female is never wrong.

    6.If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding
    which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do,
    or did not say.

    7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having
    been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female
    as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
    8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason
    at all.

    9.The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances
    without the express written consent of the female which is given only in
    cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no
    indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.

    10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or
    imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole
    judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of
    the root cause of the female's being angry or pset. The female may,
    however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying
    attention. See rule 13.

    11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to
    be angry or upset.

    12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or
    indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.

    13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times.
    Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the
    sole discretion of the female.

    14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past
    incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify,
    enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to
    the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive,
    pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish.

    15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to
    illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the
    consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has
    bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports
    teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such
    illustrations are non-rebuttable.

    16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is
    permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes without regard to
    logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior.

    17.Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought,
    opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective
    interpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding.
    Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or
    rationalizations will not be entertained. Abject please for mercy
    and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances,
    especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition.

    Of course us men know better lol
    "We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
    -Benjamin Franklin

    "If the Good Lord wanted me to use percussion caps I reckon the river beds would be full of 'em for the takin"
    Old flintlock shooter I met at the range.

    In this day and age it is easier to stay stupid than it is to stay ignorant. I have had the misfortune to have encountered many informed idiots

  2. #2
    GuncoHolic 00redZX-6R's Avatar
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    Default

    funny

  3. #3
    Throbbing Member scheistermeister's Avatar
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    you broke rule number 3


  4. #4
    Gunco Girleen pistol-packin-wifey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scheistermeister
    you broke rule number 3
    "The friendliness and charity of our countrymen can always be relied upon to relieve their fellow citizens in misfortune.... Federal aid in such cases encourages the expectation of paternal care on the part of the Government and weakens the sturdiness of our national character...." -- President Grover Cleveland
    _________________________________________
    Teach a man to fish, but if he'd rather turn around and steal your catch, shoot him.

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