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Thread: Tech support

  1. #1
    Gunco Chick Sandy's Avatar
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    Talking Tech support

    Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
    Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
    Customer: Yeah....
    Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
    Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
    Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

    ===============

    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    Female customer
    : A white one...

    ===============






    Customer:
    Hi, this is Celine. I can! 't get my diskette out.
    Tech support:
    Have you tried pushing the button?
    Customer:
    Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    Tech support
    : That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    Customer:
    No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

    ===============

    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
    Customer:
    Your left or my left?

    ===============

    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    Male customer
    : Hello... I can't print.
    Tech support
    : Would you click on "start" for me and...
    Customer:
    Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

    ===============

    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

    ===============
    Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    Tech support
    : ! Do you have a color printer?
    Customer:
    Aaaah....................thank you.

    ===============

    Tech support
    : What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    Customer:
    A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

    ===============
    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Tech support
    : Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer:
    No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Tech support:
    Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer:
    OK
    Tech support
    : Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer:
    Yes
    Tech support
    : That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
    Customer:
    Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

    ===============

    Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
    Customer:
    Is that 7 in capital letters?

    ===============

    Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    Tech support
    : Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer:
    Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support
    : Can you te! ll me what the password was?
    Customer:
    Five stars.

    ===============
    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer:
    Netscape.
    Tech support
    : That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer:
    Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

    ===============

    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    ===============

    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer:
    I'm writing my first e-mail.
    Tech support
    : OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer
    : Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

    ===============

    Awoman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
    Tech support
    : Are you running it under windows?
    Customer:
    "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

    ===============

    And last but not least:....

    Tech support
    : "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
    Customer: I don't have a P.
    Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: What do you mean?
    Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
    ~Americanwoman

  2. #2
    Gunco Apostle konrue66's Avatar
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    Been there
    Gunco Member 2241
    NRA Life Member

  3. #3
    Gunco Veteran Lt762x39's Avatar
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    Sandy,


    enjoyed your post!!!!!!! Laughter is the best med to cure the sad soul.


    thanks

    Mike

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