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Thread: How do these people survive?

  1. #1
    Poof no eyebrows klauss's Avatar
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    Default How do these people survive?

    How do these people survive?

    Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have 6, 9, or 12," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order 6?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered 6 McNuggets.

    I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

    A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

    I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
    battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

    Several years ago, we had a temp who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the temp took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make 5 "blank" copies.

    I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

    Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

    A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.... Dispatcher: Rush him to the emergency room!

    Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid.



    Not sure if these are true or not but funny none the less
    "We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
    -Benjamin Franklin

    "If the Good Lord wanted me to use percussion caps I reckon the river beds would be full of 'em for the takin"
    Old flintlock shooter I met at the range.

    In this day and age it is easier to stay stupid than it is to stay ignorant. I have had the misfortune to have encountered many informed idiots

  2. #2
    Always sore, always tired Bradrock's Avatar
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    I think the motorhome ones true. I remember it was on the news.
    " Save a tree...........Eat A Beaver!"

  3. #3
    Gunco Rookie Popeye's Avatar
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    Stupidity is a major problem in our country. There should be penalties for stupidity. I'm not advocating the death penalty for stupidity but something should be done.

    How about removing the warning stickers from all products and letting nature take its course?
    The difference between a Socialist and a Communist is that the Socialist doesn't have all the guns yet.

  4. #4
    Gunco Member kletus's Avatar
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    it really is sad to think someone has done what warning stickers say not to do. and business has to put them on to keep from being sued. who'd of thought cofee is supposed to be hot!

  5. #5
    GuncoHolic kernelkrink's Avatar
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    The thing is, if you're stupid enough to put your hands into the spinning lawnmower blades in the first place, why do they assume you are smart enough to read, comprehend, and heed their warning sticker?

  6. #6
    Gunco Veteran Lt762x39's Avatar
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    Klauss,

    I think that stupidity should be painfull!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. #7
    Gunco Girleen pistol-packin-wifey's Avatar
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    GO DARWIN! hopefully they'll do something stupid enough to cause their own death before they're able to breed
    "The friendliness and charity of our countrymen can always be relied upon to relieve their fellow citizens in misfortune.... Federal aid in such cases encourages the expectation of paternal care on the part of the Government and weakens the sturdiness of our national character...." -- President Grover Cleveland
    _________________________________________
    Teach a man to fish, but if he'd rather turn around and steal your catch, shoot him.

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