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Thread: The new alphabet

  1. #1
    Poof no eyebrows klauss's Avatar
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    Default The new alphabet

    A is for Apple, and B is for Boat,



    That used to be right, But now it won't float!



    Age before Beauty is what we once said,



    But let's be a bit more realistic instead.



    >



    Now A's for arthritis;



    B's the bad back,



    C is the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?



    D is for dental decay and decline,



    E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!



    F is for fissures and fluid retention,



    G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.



    H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;



    I for incisions with scars you can show.



    J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,



    K is for knees that crack when they bend.



    L for libido, what happened to sex?



    M is for memory, I forget ! what comes next



    N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;



    O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!



    P for prescription's, I have quite a few, just



    give me a pill and I'll be good as new!



    Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?



    R for reflux, one meal turns to two.



    S for sleepless nights, counting my fears,



    T for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!



    U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;



    V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.



    W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?



    X is for X ray, and what might be found.



    Y is another year I'm left here behind,



    Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind.



    >



    I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,



    And I am keeping twenty-six 'doctors' fully employed!!!



    author unknown
    "We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
    -Benjamin Franklin

    "If the Good Lord wanted me to use percussion caps I reckon the river beds would be full of 'em for the takin"
    Old flintlock shooter I met at the range.

    In this day and age it is easier to stay stupid than it is to stay ignorant. I have had the misfortune to have encountered many informed idiots

  2. #2
    BANNED H1S1K's Avatar
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    Default

    Twenty six reasons im glad i am not old yet.

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