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Thread: Ireland Declares War on France

  1. #1
    Gunco Apostle konrue66's Avatar
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    Talking Ireland Declares War on France

    Ireland Declares War on France

    Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when
    his telephone rings.

    "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice says. "This is Paddy
    Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you
    that
    we are officially declaring war on you!"

    "Well, Paddy," Chirac replies, "This is indeed important news! How big is
    your army?"

    "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is
    myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire
    darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

    Chirac pauses. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my
    army waiting to move on my command."

    "Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

    Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
    still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

    "And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.

    "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

    Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks
    and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army
    to 150,000 since we last spoke."

    "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

    Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
    still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified
    Jackie
    McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
    four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

    Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must
    tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My
    military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
    sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

    "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."
    Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
    Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

    "Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of
    heart?"

    "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness,
    and decided there is no way in hell we can feed 200,000 prisoners."
    I though it was funny.
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  2. #2
    The Mad Messenger Zane Zackerly's Avatar
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    That's a good one!
    "I Am the Mad Messenger From the Edge"

  3. #3
    Gunco Apostle konrue66's Avatar
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    I keep waiting on France to surrender.
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  4. #4
    Gunco Regular fal_shooter's Avatar
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    If the french were smart (but of course they are french) they would surrender to two different countries at the same time and let those countries fight each other while france sits it out. When one country wins they could just surrender to another country.
    Patrick Henry, that patriot and Founding Father of our country said, "It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded not by religionists but by Christians, not on religions but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ".

  5. #5
    Death Ray Operator vulcan762's Avatar
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    I like it.
    Visit http://www.WeaponsWorld.comfor the current ammunition sale prices!

  6. #6
    GuncoHolic BigAl's Avatar
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    too good.......

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