Mens Rules
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Thread: Mens Rules

  1. #1
    Gunco Veteran gunkgy's Avatar
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    Apr 2005
    N.W. Washington
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    Talking Mens Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys'
    side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

    We always hear " THE RULES"

    From the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note...these are all numbered "1" on purpose!

    1. Men are not mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
    If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like full moon or the changing of
    the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going
    to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
    solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what
    your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
    problem. See a doctor.

    1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
    an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
    girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two
    ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
    we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
    how you want it done.
    Not both. If you already know best how to do it,
    just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
    to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions
    and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
    default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
    is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing",
    we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are
    lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer
    to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
    anything you wear is fine...Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
    you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,
    the shotgun formation, or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

    1.Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have
    to sleep on the couch tonight;

    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's
    like camping....
    I know nothing...........nothing !

  2. #2
    Good Ole' Boy RTO68-69's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
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    That's great! I like rule #1.
    Good Ole Boy from a Good Ole Place

  3. #3
    Man on Fire bulletboy's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
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    That is outstanding!
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, because I am the baddest motherfu$@er in the goddamn valley.

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