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Thread: 25 signs you are older

  1. #1
    Poof no eyebrows klauss's Avatar
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    Default 25 signs you are older

    25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
    >
    >1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
    >
    >
    > 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
    >
    >
    > 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
    >
    >
    > 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
    >
    >
    > 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
    >
    >
    > 6. You watch the Weather Channel.
    >
    >
    > 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
    >
    >
    > 8. You go from 13 days of vacation time to 140.
    >
    >
    > 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
    >
    >
    > 10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
    >
    > won't turn down the stereo.
    >
    >
    > 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
    >
    >
    > 12. Yo don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
    >
    >
    > 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
    >
    >
    > 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
    >
    >
    > 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
    >
    >
    > 16. You take naps.
    >
    >
    > 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of
    >one.
    >
    >
    > 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
    >rather than settle, your stomach.
    >
    >
    > 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and
    >pregnancy tests.
    >
    >
    > 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
    >
    > 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
    >
    > 22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to
    >drink that much again."
    >
    > 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
    >
    > 24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
    >
    > 25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them
    >instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
    >
    > Bonus:
    >
    > 26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
    >doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
    >
    "We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
    -Benjamin Franklin

    "If the Good Lord wanted me to use percussion caps I reckon the river beds would be full of 'em for the takin"
    Old flintlock shooter I met at the range.

    In this day and age it is easier to stay stupid than it is to stay ignorant. I have had the misfortune to have encountered many informed idiots

  2. #2
    Man on Fire bulletboy's Avatar
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    26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
    doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
    Damn it...
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, because I am the baddest motherfu$@er in the goddamn valley.

  3. #3
    Cimarron
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    number 5 did it for me. When I heard a watered down version of Smoke on the Water in an elevator I started looking for a retirement home!

  4. #4
    Man on Fire bulletboy's Avatar
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    They had SMOKE ON THE WATER in an ELEVATOR??? The only reason Im not crying about that is because I wasnt personally there...
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, because I am the baddest motherfu$@er in the goddamn valley.

  5. #5
    Proud Confederate partssman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulletboy
    Damn it...
    me and you both Brother ...me and you both
    When Injustice Becomes Law....Rebellion Becomes Duty


    The only thing wrong with Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address was that it was the South, not the North, that was fighting for a government of the people, by the people and for the people."

    -- H. L. Mencken

    One
    Big
    Ass
    Mistake
    America

  6. #6
    GuncoHolic scubadvr's Avatar
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    Wink

    27. You look in the mirror and see this:
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Be sure to check out:
    www.warroom.com
    and
    www.michaelsavage.com


    ******************************************
    What ever it is I'm against it.
    Always question authority.

  7. #7
    Akron Armory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scubadvr
    27. You look in the mirror and see this:

    Damn it all SCUBA,..I..WISH I looked THAT GOOD!


    I'm a bookkeeper's son,
    I don't wanna shoot no one,
    but I crossed my old man back in Oregon,
    don't take me alive.

    ---Steely Dan---

  8. #8
    GuncoHolic D.B.Cooper's Avatar
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    #25 hasn't happened yet, but it's the last one.

  9. #9
    Code name: Felix aviator's Avatar
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    I may be a dirty old man but number 2 doesn't apply.


  10. #10
    Proud Confederate partssman's Avatar
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    What if you looked like this......






    Cephu-s is a prince now ain't he??
    When Injustice Becomes Law....Rebellion Becomes Duty


    The only thing wrong with Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address was that it was the South, not the North, that was fighting for a government of the people, by the people and for the people."

    -- H. L. Mencken

    One
    Big
    Ass
    Mistake
    America

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