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Thread: Diary of a blonde cook

  1. #1
    Poof no eyebrows klauss's Avatar
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    Default Diary of a blonde cook

    MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

    TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper.

    WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway.
    I can't say it improved the rice any.

    THURSDAY: Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.
    Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

    FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with
    this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

    SATURDAY: Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy).For some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

    SUNDAY: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much
    to my disappointment.

    GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with chocolate moose.
    "We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
    -Benjamin Franklin

    "If the Good Lord wanted me to use percussion caps I reckon the river beds would be full of 'em for the takin"
    Old flintlock shooter I met at the range.

    In this day and age it is easier to stay stupid than it is to stay ignorant. I have had the misfortune to have encountered many informed idiots

  2. #2
    Man on Fire bulletboy's Avatar
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    That was funny!
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, because I am the baddest motherfu$@er in the goddamn valley.

  3. #3
    Gunco Member fuzzy's Avatar
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    ha ha .this would be funner if i didnt have two blond neices.

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    Indian Admin Winn R's Avatar
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    The difficulty with them at close range is the constant reminder that relief is as close as a mirror on the bottom of the swimming pool.
    There is no nonsense so errant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action. -- Bertrand Russell


    "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." Robert J. Hanlon

  5. #5
    Gunco Girleen pistol-packin-wifey's Avatar
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    that's a good one, klauss!

    Winn R......i really like your signature line
    "The friendliness and charity of our countrymen can always be relied upon to relieve their fellow citizens in misfortune.... Federal aid in such cases encourages the expectation of paternal care on the part of the Government and weakens the sturdiness of our national character...." -- President Grover Cleveland
    _________________________________________
    Teach a man to fish, but if he'd rather turn around and steal your catch, shoot him.

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    Friend of MCMXI Preacher's Avatar
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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzy
    ha ha .this would be funner if i didnt have two blond neices.
    Or a blonde wife. I can't laugh at blonde jokes anymore.

    But hey, it's worth the sacrifice.
    You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
    I Like 1911's.

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