NEW LAW COMING FROM CONGRESS-AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT
>> WASHINGTON, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which
>> provides new benefits for many Americans.
>> The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major
>> advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or
>> "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and
>> drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in
>> society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow
>> People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this
>> legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors
>> to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or
>> have some idea of what they are doing."
>> The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which
>> has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
>> performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job
>> skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons
>> of Inability .
>> Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination
>> against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry
>> (68%),and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a
>> great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)
>> Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
>> "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles
>> but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of
>> purpose and performance.
>> Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given,
>> to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.
>> The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which
>> maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle
>> positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that
>> agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
>> Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more
>> difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory
>> interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or
>> "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
>> "As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who
>> have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her
>> position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her
>> lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people
>> like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other
>> untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
>> Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each
>> and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with
>> some sort of space to take up in this great nation."