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Thread: Observations ....

  1. #1
    Gunco Member John Henry's Avatar
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    Default Observations ....

    Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

    - Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
    - I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
    - I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
    - Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
    - I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
    - I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
    - If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
    - I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
    - There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
    - When they say 'nothing' is better than their product I figure they must know what they're talking about, so I always choose 'nothing'.
    - I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
    - I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
    - Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
    - How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
    - Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
    - Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
    - Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"


    Freedom .... is never free !

  2. #2
    Grand Poobah Gunco's Avatar
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    Those a re great! Very funny
    "Courage is being scared to death - and saddling up anyway." - The Duke

  3. #3
    aka: SDK1968 dutigaf's Avatar
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    very nice indeed.. reminds me of why im married. thanks, i think.
    say what you mean & mean what you say


  4. #4
    GuncoHolic Rahatlakhoom's Avatar
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    Ouch! the truth sure hurts don't it?
    Charter member-Busted Box Club est. 2006

    "I will adhere to the Patriot Act, the one signed in 1776"
    - Marc Anderson

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