You Know ....
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Thread: You Know ....

  1. #1
    Gunco Member John Henry's Avatar
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    Default You Know ....

    1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
    the finance committee refuses to provide funds for
    the purchase of a chandelier because none of the
    members knows how to play one.

    2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
    people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000,
    whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what
    bait was used to catch 'em.

    3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
    when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help
    take up the offering," five guys and two women stand
    up.

    4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
    opening day of deer season is recognized as an
    official church holiday.

    5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
    a member of the church requests to be buried in his
    4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in
    a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)

    6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .
    the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

    7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
    in a congregation of 500 members, there are only
    seven last names in the church directory.

    8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
    people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift
    something too heavy.

    9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .
    the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling"
    washtub.

    10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .
    the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered
    with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

    11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
    the collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56
    Chevy.

    12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .
    instead of a bell you are called to service by a
    duck call.

    13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
    the minister and his wife drive matching pickup
    trucks.

    14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church If .
    the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

    15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
    "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

    16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if:
    the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come
    back now, Ya hear".

    God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!

    =====================



  2. #2
    Moderator ptannjr's Avatar
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    Very nice!
    Consider this, Amateurs built the Ark, Professionals built the Titanic





    Ocala and Marion County Car Audio

  3. #3
    Gunco Veteran nkluksda's Avatar
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    17. You know You're in a Redneck Church if:
    The preacher uses the word "peckerhead" three times in the sermon, and no one thinks it's unusual.
    Q - What is Bambi?

    A - Viable Target

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  5. #4
    Gunco Member infamous ted's Avatar
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    where's jeff ... to see this

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