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Thread: USAF Maintenance Log :

  1. #1
    Margaritaville Native jjglith's Avatar
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    Default USAF Maintenance Log :

    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.


    Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
    Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

    Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
    Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

    Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
    Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

    Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
    Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

    Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
    Solution: "Evidence removed."

    Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
    Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

    Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
    Solution: "Live bugs on order."

    Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
    Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

    Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
    Solution: "That's what they're there for."

    Problem: "Number three engine missing."
    Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

    “Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.”
    Benjamin Franklin

  2. #2
    Grand Poobah Gunco's Avatar
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    Ha.... Seen these before they are great!.....
    "Courage is being scared to death - and saddling up anyway." - The Duke

  3. #3
    Gunco Slightly Irregular cammobunker's Avatar
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    Suspected crack in windshield.
    Suspect you're right.

    Mouse in cockpit
    Cat installed.

    Aircraft acting funny.
    Aircraft told to straighten up, fly right, and stop screwing around.

    Windows getting steamed in flight.
    Windows couseled on anger management techniques.
    "All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick!"
    -Ash, Army of Darkness
    "There are two kinds of people in this world, Tuco.
    Those with loaded guns,
    and those who dig. You dig."
    -Blondie, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

  4. #4
    Red Jacket Firearms's Avatar
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    UHF radio will not function in " O-F-F" setting . saw that one in HMLA-369 . Huey's and Cobras
    Will Hayden, RedJacket Firearms
    www.Redstick-Firearms.com

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