Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were talking to one another one day. Sleeping Beauty said "I've always thought That I was fairest of them all, but how do I know for sure?"
Tom Thumb piped up. "I'm pretty sure there is nobody smaller than me, but there could be, right?"
Quasimodo intoned "Surely I must be the most hideous, ugliest person in the whole world, but is that true? How would I know if that is true?"
Sleeping Beauty, being a blonde, naturally had no idea on how to check, but plucky little Tom Thumb said, "I know, let's go ask those folks at the Guiness Book of world records. Surely they would know!"
So all three went into town into the main office of the Guiness World Record book. They were called into the office of the head researcher one by one.
Sleeping Beauty came out first with a huge smile on her face. "It's true, it's true, I AM the fairest of them all."
Now it was Tom Thumbs turn. He came out of the office with his diminutive chest all puffed out with pride. "At last I know I am the smallest person in the world.
Finally it was Quasimodo's turn. In he went into the office. After a short while, he came out, but with a look of confusion on his face and shaking his head slowly from side to side.
He looked at the other two and said, "Who is Rosie O'Donnell??"