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Thread: Little Ralphy

  1. #1
    Grand Poobah Gunco's Avatar
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    Default Little Ralphy

    LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 1)

    A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds
    sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

    She calls on little Ralphy.

    He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
    first gunshot."
    The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but
    I like your thinking."


    Then little Ralphy says, "I have a question for
    YOU."

    There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice
    cream:
    One is delicately licking the sides of the triple
    scoop of ice cream.
    The second is gobbling down the top and sucking
    the cone.
    The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
    Which one is married?"

    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied,
    "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top
    and sucked the cone."
    To which Little RALPHY replied, "The correct
    answer is the one with the wedding ring on," but I
    like your thinking."

    LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2)

    Little Ralphy returns from school and says he got
    an F in arithmetic.
    "Why?" asks the father?

    "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6",
    replies Ralphy.
    "But that's right!" says his dad.
    "Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'"
    "What's the f...... difference?" asks the father.
    "That's what I said!"

    LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH

    Little Ralphy goes to school, and the teacher
    says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable
    words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
    multi-syllable word?"
    RALPHY says "Mas-tur-bate."

    Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Ralphy,
    that's a mouthful."
    Little RALPHY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're
    thinking of a blowjob."

    LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

    Little Ralphy was sitting in class one day.
    All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom.
    All of the sudden he yelled out "Miss Rogers, I gotta

    go take a piss!!"
    The teacher replied, 'Now, Ralphy, that is NOT the
    proper word to use in this situation.
    The correct word you want to use is 'urinate. '
    Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence
    correctly, and I will allow you to go."
    Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says,
    "You're an eight, but if
    you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

    LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
    One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the
    teacher asked for a show of hands from those who
    could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
    twice.
    First, she called on little Suzie, who responded
    with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress
    and she looked beautiful in it."

    "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then
    called on little Michael.
    "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it
    turned out beautifully."
    She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher
    reluctantly called on little RALPHY.

    "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my
    father that she was pregnant, and he said
    'Beautiful, just f...... beautiful!'"

    LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER

    Little Ralphy was sitting on a park bench
    munching on one candy bar after another.
    After the 6th one a man on the bench across from
    him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't
    good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth,
    Little Ralphy replied, "My grandfather lived to be
    107 years old."
    The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy
    bars at a time?"
    Little Ralphy answered, "No, he minded his own
    f..... business.
    "Courage is being scared to death - and saddling up anyway." - The Duke

  2. #2
    Administrator sniper69's Avatar
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    Thanks for the good laugh.
    "To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."
    Ted Nugent - speaking at the NRA convention April 17, 2005

  3. #3
    Gunco Member Sarge8497's Avatar
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    Now that is funny. It sure made my day.

  4. #4
    rbthntr64's Avatar
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    Pretty interesting!
    Freedom is not free. Some will perish to preserve it for the many. Just as our Forefathers did before us, we must take up the battle and not waver. Victory is our only option.

  5. #5
    Gunco Regular amdhotprocessor's Avatar
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    LOL bravo! I like the way you think
    Cheap bastard plus ghetto tools=quality AK build

    PLEASE VOTE IN '08 FOR YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS!!!!!!

    RON PAUL '08

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