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Idiot Sightings

4K views 22 replies 21 participants last post by  boshaw 
#1 ·
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said Were sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman , KS .

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... And the scary part is that they VOTE and
They REPRODUCE !
Let's Be Careful Out There: Not only do they walk among us, most of them drive.

Be careful, very careful.....
 
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#3 ·
pjm204 said:
hahaha, those were pretty hilarious, are those first hand sightings? or did you find them somewhere?

It is making the email circuit right now.. :D
 
#4 ·
IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
Actually present for one where that happened.
 
#5 ·
I went to med school in a small town in Ohio. The town was about 15,000 and the University (OU) about 15,000. Local liberal rag/newspaper.

Around spring time, there was a letter to the editor from a young coed. She was protesting daylight savings time. She said something to the effect that with the environement being the way it was, it wasn't right for the government to give us an extra hour of daylight and make global warming worse.

Also, I remember watching that series on TV called "Amish in the City". There was some skinny vegeterian on the show that was busting on someone for eating eggs for breakfast. She called the egg "a chicken abortion". Go figure. Dumbass blonde vegetarian that doesn't know squat about reproduction.....
 
#6 ·
Years ago while walking with a group of friends, we were aproached by an atractive girl carring a "fur is murder" sign who was trying to get us to sign a petition of sorts. She was quite lovely but what struck me most about her was her expensive looking leather coat. I politely told her no thanks and continued walking. She followed and persisted. So as loud as I could yell I said "you dumb b*%#@! what the hell do you think a leather coat is but a fur coat without the fur on it?" You could tell by the look on her face that she hadn't thought about that untill then as she put her sign down and quickly walked away to the laughter of everyone in ear shot.
 
#8 ·
A blonde and a brunette were walking down the street.

The brunette suddenly said "Oh look, how sad, a dead bird."

The blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where? Where?"
 
#9 ·
At our shop my friend had to work on this car that the owner said the fuel pump was dead. After a preliminary inspection my friend found the distributor rotor wasn't spinning, and notified the owner. The owner indignantly responded "My buddy says it's the fuel pump!" I had to walk away stifling a laugh as my friend suggested he try a timing belt first.
 
#13 ·
Idiots among us. In charge of us.

One day at work I was sitting in the breakroom with a worker from my department, the head of Safety for the plant, and the head of the Finishing Department.

The female finishing supervisor mentioned that she was born in October of the same year that I was born. So I said that I was born in June, and that that made me older than her by four months. Her and the male safety manager hotly contested, and insisted that I was younger. My coworker sided with them. I tried to make the analogy that if I made a sandwich at 12:00 noon (June) and set it on the table, then made another sanswich at 4:00 pm ( October), which sandwich would you rather eat, the newer, younger sandwich made at 4 or the older one made at 12.
That didn't help. They became almost angry with me and insinuated that I was an idiot.

While walking back to the work area with my coworker he suddenly stopped and said, "Dude, you were right. She is younger than you!"
Which leads me to conclude that if you can get an idiot off their seat (brains) and in an upright position you have a better chance of having a semi-conscious conversation with them.

Just my personal slant on the subject.
 
#14 ·
My sons girlfriend,blonde,17,had stopped her car on a local hiway and was just sitting there when a state trooper pulls up and asks if everything is ok and she says yes.He then asks why she was just sitting there and she says shes just doing what the sign says.The sign read DO NOT PASS and she wasnt about to go past that sign! Swear to God, true story. Sad thing is she and my son will probably get married and will make lots of idiot grand-kids for my wife and I to take care of.
 
#15 ·
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... And the scary part is that they VOTE and
They REPRODUCE !
Let's Be Careful Out There:Not only do they walk among us, most of them drive.

Be careful, very careful.....
Dont forget the main one RUN FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!:rofl:
 
#21 ·
It was years ago that a co worker of mine was reading me the riot act for another co worker for inviting me to go hunting on his kill permit at a local nursery were the deer were destroying the young trees. She was really tearing into me and my patience had almost run out when to my surprise and delight she was wearing leather tenis shoes. I called her all the things she called me and told her that she killed little innocent animals. I said look sweetie if your gonna talk the talk you'd better be walking the walk...... that was her last time on the soap box while I worked with her... she did make it a point to show me her new plastic shoes the very next day.....
 
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