So I was sitting at the dinner table with my wife one night. Out of the blue, she tells me she wants breast implants.
I explain to her that her breasts are just fine, and not only that, but implants are really expensive.
She keeps going on about how it would make her look and feel younger and blah blah blah. She just wouldn't shut up.
So, I excused myself from the table, went down the hall to the bath room, and came back. I handed her a roll of toilet paper.
"What am I supposed to do with this'" she asks?
"Rub it on your breasts every night before you go to bed," I tell her.
Her: What will that do?
Me: It will make your breasts bigger.
Her: That won't work you moron.
Me: Yes it will.
Me: I don't know exactly....But...you've been wiping your butt with it for years, and look how damned big "it" got!!!!!!!!
.....She was not amused...