Two old friends were just about to tee off at the
first hole of their local golf course when a guy
carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind
if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started
playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the
friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag,
and pulling out a beautiful sniper rifle
with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other
friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to
see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and
looked through the sight in the direction of his
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is
fantastic. I can see right in the window." "Wow, I can
see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's
naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there
with her...... He's naked, too!!! The bitch!"
He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for
"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars
every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so
shoot her in the mouth."
"Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just
shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing
perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend
"Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think
I can save you a grand here....."