The Hitman
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Thread: The Hitman

  1. #1
    Gunsmith Fritz's Avatar
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    Oct 2006
    Salem, Oregon
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    Default The Hitman

    The Hitman!!

    Two old friends were just about to tee off at the
    first hole of their local golf course when a guy
    carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind
    if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

    "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started
    playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
    newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the
    friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a

    "I'm a hit man," was the reply.

    "You're joking!" was the response.
    "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag,
    and pulling out a beautiful sniper rifle
    with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

    "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other
    friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to
    see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and
    looked through the sight in the direction of his
    "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is
    fantastic. I can see right in the window." "Wow, I can
    see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's
    naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there
    with her...... He's naked, too!!! The bitch!"

    He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for
    a hit?"
    "I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars
    every time I pull the trigger."
    "Can you do two for me now?"

    "Sure, what do you want?"
    "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so
    shoot her in the mouth."
    "Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just
    shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

    The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing
    perfectly still for a few minutes.
    "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend

    "Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think
    I can save you a grand here....."

  2. #2
    Gunco Regular Dirty Harry's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
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    Good joke.... it didn't go where where I thought.
    Want to buy: Tantal Left and Right side selector parts.

    I'm no sheep!

  3. #3
    Gunco Maniac sjohnson's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
    South Dakota
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    It didn't go where the husband thought, either
    I have a daughter. I tell her, "911 is what you dial after you're raped. 1911 is what you should have before they try."

  4. #4
    Guns and Gold Post Toastie's Avatar
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    Dec 2008
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    I'm waiting for the hollywood movie.

  5. #5
    Gunco Rookie usaitc's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
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    That was funny
    "When you guys get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."
    -Commanding General, 1st Marine Division

  6. #6
    gunco irregular moleman's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    Next door to my neighbors house in Michigan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Post Toastie View Post
    I'm waiting for the hollywood movie.
    They can get John Bobbit to play the part of the neighbor!

  7. #7
    Gunco Rookie OPossumTX's Avatar
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    Dec 2008
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    He already knows that part. No rehearsals needed!

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