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Thread: Frank Feldman

  1. #1
    KTV
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    Default Frank Feldman

    A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going
    by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect
    timing. You're just like Frank.'

    Passenger: 'Who?'

    Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything
    right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed
    a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every
    single time.'

    Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

    Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He
    could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf
    with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced
    like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play
    the piano. He was an amazing guy.'

    Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special.

    Cabbie: 'There's more... He had a memory like a computer.
    He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about
    wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them
    with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse,
    and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he
    could do everything right'

    Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'

    Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic
    and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get
    stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and
    he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel
    good. He would never answer her back even if she was
    in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate,
    shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He
    never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to
    Frank Feldman.'

    Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

    Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank, he died. I married his f---ing widow.'
    What are we going to do with all the criminals, now that our prisons and
    legislatures are full??

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    Gunco Rookie coctailer's Avatar
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