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Thread: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

  1. #1
    Gunco Veteran Bolt2bounce's Avatar
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    Default AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

    AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

    Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

    Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

    For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

    A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

    You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD -40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

    Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

  2. #2
    Gunco Member fearitself's Avatar
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    Ha ha!
    First they complain that I leave the seat up, then they complain when there's pee all over the seat. Make up your mind ladies!

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    No Hope For Me Coils's Avatar
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    If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
    Didn't hear that one before.

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    Gunco Maniac sjohnson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coils View Post
    Didn't hear that one before.
    Me neither
    I have a daughter. I tell her, "911 is what you dial after you're raped. 1911 is what you should have before they try."

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    Indian Admin Winn R's Avatar
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    So I offered to put in a urinal.

    And redo the whole bathroom. She took the bathroom but not the urinal.
    There is no nonsense so errant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action. -- Bertrand Russell


    "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." Robert J. Hanlon

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    Gunco Veteran Bolt2bounce's Avatar
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    So I offered to put in a urinal.

    And redo the whole bathroom. She took the bathroom but not the urinal.
    Your just lucky it wasn't a Kitchen instead...$$$ LOL...
    B2B

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    Gunco Rookie gammydodger's Avatar
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    lol

  8. #8
    Gunco Member jrgrace's Avatar
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    good one

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    Gunco Member GeoMan's Avatar
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    I hope I can remember all these jokes, they're great...

  10. #10
    Cranky Curmudgeon zoom6zoom's Avatar
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    If it doesn't move and should, use the WD -40
    Bowels?

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