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Blonde joke

6K views 31 replies 26 participants last post by  Rahatlakhoom 
#1 ·
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
 
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#7 ·
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
 
#8 ·
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
Years later, the surviving blonde was visiting a friend when the teakettle began whistling in the kitchen. She grabbed a heavy object and smashed the hell out of it. When her friend asked her, "WTF?", she replied, "you gotta get them while they're young!"
 
#17 ·
Blonde walks up to a counter and the clerk says,
"May I help you"
"Yes, I'd like a cheese burger, fries and...."
"ma'am, this is a library"

The blonde whispers quietly,
"I'd like a cheese burger, fries and a large coke."


Longest time increment known:

4 Blondes at a 4-way stop
 
#24 ·
Blonde drives her car through a hailstorm and it becomes damaged. So she brings it to a body shop for an estimate. The shopowner decides to have some fun with the woman. He tells her that if she blows hard enough on the tailpipe, all the dents will pop out.
So she's back at her place blowing on the tailpipe and her blonde roomate steps out. The 1st blonde explains what's she's trying to do and that it's not working. The 2nd blonde looks at the car and says, "I see the problem. Your windows are rolled down."
 
#27 ·
You guys may remember me posting this one before: This really happenend-My sons girlfriend, a blonde, was stopped in the right hand lane on a rural hi-way. A state trooper pulls up and asks why she is stopped and she explains that she was only doing what the sign says. The trooper looks at the sign which read "DO NOT PASS". She said she wasnt going past the sign until someone told her to. ????
 
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