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Thread: New element discovered!!!

  1. #1
    Gunco Member celticfire's Avatar
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    Default New element discovered!!!

    Someone might have posted this before, but if so it's well worth repeating.

    Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

    The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

    Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

    A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 – 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

    In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

    When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

  2. #2
    Gunco Apostle konrue66's Avatar
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    YES I GET IT
    Gunco Member 2241
    NRA Life Member

  3. #3
    Gunco Member kern57's Avatar
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    Default it will turn into a black hole

    Quote Originally Posted by celticfire View Post
    Someone might have posted this before, but if so it's well worth repeating.

    Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

    The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

    Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

    A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 – 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

    In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

    When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
    it will turn into a black hole sucking up everything

  4. #4
    BANNED nalioth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by celticfire View Post
    Someone might have posted this before,
    . . . if I only had a nickel for each time . .

  5. #5
    Firearms Accumulator Carbine Coyote's Avatar
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    The Planet Barak in the Chicago System has been discovered as a possible source of the new element. Delerium is also said to be in abundance on the planet.

  6. #6
    Gunco Member jrenyard's Avatar
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    Too bad it isn't unobtanium!

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