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Thread: Tae Kwon Leep

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    TRX
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    Default Tae Kwon Leep

    A Canadian group called The Frantics did this skit long ago.
    An mp3 is here: http://beagleweb.com/personal/Franti...n-Leep-64k.mp3

    I always think of those old Tom Laughlin movies when I hear it.

    Master: Approach, students. Close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of tae-kwon-leep, but be warned. To learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate on this wisdom now.

    Ed: Uh sir... sir... ooo! ooo! Sir!

    Master: Who disturbs our meditation as a pebble disturbs a pond?

    Ed: Me. Ed Gruberman.

    Master: E... Ed Gruberman.

    Ed: Yeah. No disrespect or nothing, but like how long is this going to take?

    Master: Tae-Kwon-Leep is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon.

    Ed: So like, what, an hour or so?

    Master: No, no. We have not even begun upon the path. Ed Gruberman, you must learn patience.

    Ed: Yeah, yeah, patience. How long will that take?

    Master: Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day.

    Ed: A year?! I wanna beat people up right now! I got the pajamas. Ha..yo...wa... wooo!

    Master: Beat people up?

    Ed: Yeah, just show me all those nifty moves so I can start trashing bozos. That's all I came here for. Yo-as-ta-ta-shah! Pretty good eh?

    Master: The only use of Tae-Kwon-Leep is self defense. Do you know who said that? Ki-lo-nee, the great teacher.

    Ed: Yeah, well the best defense is a good o-fense. Do you know who said that? Mel, the cook on Alice!

    Master: Well, umm... Tae-Kwon Leep is the wine of purity, not the vinegar of hostility. Meditate on this truth with us. Ahhh.... ohhhhh....

    Ed: Listen shrimp, now are you gonna show me those nifty moves, or am I gonna start wiping the walls with you?

    Master: Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Tae-Kwon Leep. Approach me so that you may see.

    Ed: Alright, finally some action.

    Master: Observe closely class. Boot to the Head [boom].

    Ed: Ow, you booted me in the head!

    Master: You are lucky, Ed Gooberman. Few novices experience so much of Tae-Kwon Leep so soon.

    Ed: Ow, oh, my head.

    Master: Now we continue.

    Ed: Hey, hey, I wasn't ready! Come and get me now, come on, are you chicken?

    Master: Boot to the head [boom].

    Ed: Ow! Okay, now I'm ready, come on, try it now.

    Master: Boot to the head [boom].

    Ed: Mind if I just lie down here for a minute? Ow.

    Master: Now class, we shall return to our...

    Student 1: Master?

    Master: It is wrong to tip the vessel of knowledge student.

    Student 1: Many apologies master, but I feel Ed Gruberman is not wholly wrong.

    Master: What do you mean?

    Student 1: I want to boot some head too.

    Master: Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ed Gruberman?

    Student 1: Yes master, I have learned two things. First, that anger is a weapon only to one's opponent.

    Master: Very good.

    Student 1: And get in the first shot. Boot to the head [half a boom].

    Master: You missed.

    Student 1: Uh, yeah, well ...

    Master: You to shall be honored to learn a lesson.

    Student 1: Ya know, I can... you don't have to ya know... I gotta be going...

    Master: Boot to the Head [boom].

    Student 1: ooo...ya.. ehh... ooooogggg... awwwwww

    Master: Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here?

    Student 2: Uh, yes master, not a single one of could defeat you.

    Master: You gain wisdom child.

    Student 2: So we'll have to gang up on you! Get him now!

    Master: Boot... [boom]... boot to... [boom]... th.. [boom], [boom], [boom] [boom] [boom], [boom] [boom]... [boom]

    Master: And now class, let us rejoin the mind to the body, and gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation. Ahh... owwww....

    Students: ahhh... oooooowwwww.....

    Master: Very good, class.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TRX View Post
    A Canadian group called The Frantics did this skit long ago.
    An mp3 is here: http://beagleweb.com/personal/Franti...n-Leep-64k.mp3

    I always think of those old Tom Laughlin movies when I hear it.

    Master: Approach, students. Close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of tae-kwon-leep, but be warned. To learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate on this wisdom now.

    Ed: Uh sir... sir... ooo! ooo! Sir!

    Master: Who disturbs our meditation as a pebble disturbs a pond?

    Ed: Me. Ed Gruberman.

    Master: E... Ed Gruberman.

    Ed: Yeah. No disrespect or nothing, but like how long is this going to take?

    Master: Tae-Kwon-Leep is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon.

    Ed: So like, what, an hour or so?

    Master: No, no. We have not even begun upon the path. Ed Gruberman, you must learn patience.

    Ed: Yeah, yeah, patience. How long will that take?

    Master: Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day.

    Ed: A year?! I wanna beat people up right now! I got the pajamas. Ha..yo...wa... wooo!

    Master: Beat people up?

    Ed: Yeah, just show me all those nifty moves so I can start trashing bozos. That's all I came here for. Yo-as-ta-ta-shah! Pretty good eh?

    Master: The only use of Tae-Kwon-Leep is self defense. Do you know who said that? Ki-lo-nee, the great teacher.

    Ed: Yeah, well the best defense is a good o-fense. Do you know who said that? Mel, the cook on Alice!

    Master: Well, umm... Tae-Kwon Leep is the wine of purity, not the vinegar of hostility. Meditate on this truth with us. Ahhh.... ohhhhh....

    Ed: Listen shrimp, now are you gonna show me those nifty moves, or am I gonna start wiping the walls with you?

    Master: Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Tae-Kwon Leep. Approach me so that you may see.

    Ed: Alright, finally some action.

    Master: Observe closely class. Boot to the Head [boom].

    Ed: Ow, you booted me in the head!

    Master: You are lucky, Ed Gooberman. Few novices experience so much of Tae-Kwon Leep so soon.

    Ed: Ow, oh, my head.

    Master: Now we continue.

    Ed: Hey, hey, I wasn't ready! Come and get me now, come on, are you chicken?

    Master: Boot to the head [boom].

    Ed: Ow! Okay, now I'm ready, come on, try it now.

    Master: Boot to the head [boom].

    Ed: Mind if I just lie down here for a minute? Ow.

    Master: Now class, we shall return to our...

    Student 1: Master?

    Master: It is wrong to tip the vessel of knowledge student.

    Student 1: Many apologies master, but I feel Ed Gruberman is not wholly wrong.

    Master: What do you mean?

    Student 1: I want to boot some head too.

    Master: Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ed Gruberman?

    Student 1: Yes master, I have learned two things. First, that anger is a weapon only to one's opponent.

    Master: Very good.

    Student 1: And get in the first shot. Boot to the head [half a boom].

    Master: You missed.

    Student 1: Uh, yeah, well ...

    Master: You to shall be honored to learn a lesson.

    Student 1: Ya know, I can... you don't have to ya know... I gotta be going...

    Master: Boot to the Head [boom].

    Student 1: ooo...ya.. ehh... ooooogggg... awwwwww

    Master: Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here?

    Student 2: Uh, yes master, not a single one of could defeat you.

    Master: You gain wisdom child.

    Student 2: So we'll have to gang up on you! Get him now!

    Master: Boot... [boom]... boot to... [boom]... th.. [boom], [boom], [boom] [boom] [boom], [boom] [boom]... [boom]

    Master: And now class, let us rejoin the mind to the body, and gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation. Ahh... owwww....

    Students: ahhh... oooooowwwww.....

    Master: Very good, class.
    Here is the original that inspired the sequel above. Boot To The Head

    If the left can make a cowardly mass muderer like che guevara a hero, I can make PinoCHEt mine.
    (That is not my Buick in the photo)


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