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Thread: My first time with a condom

  1. #1
    Grand Poobah Gunco's Avatar
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    Default My first time with a condom

    I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went
    in to buy a packet of condoms at Marine's pharmacy.

    Mr. Marine's eldest daughter was working behind the counter, and she could
    see that I was embarresed. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear
    one. I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.'

    So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She
    cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

    I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to
    see if it were emptyIt was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it..

    Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed
    it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked,
    holding her breasts up for me to see.

    Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head and drool!

    She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she
    dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on',
    she said, 'We don't have much time..'

    So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, but unfortunately, I could no longer
    hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

    She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked.

    I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

    Then she beat the shit out of me.......
    "Courage is being scared to death - and saddling up anyway." - The Duke

  2. #2
    Gunco Member 2ndamndmnt's Avatar
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    now that thar is funny, i dont care who you are............

  3. #3
    Cranky Curmudgeon zoom6zoom's Avatar
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    That's a good one....

    A guy walks into the drug store and asks for a packet of condoms.
    The pharmacist says, "That'll be $5.00 with the tax."
    "Tacks?" - the guy exclaims, "I thought you rolled them on!"

  4. #4
    TRX
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    Gunco Irregular TRX's Avatar
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    Possibly apocryphal, but a friend of mine claimed he went to a pharmacy back in the early '80s, when you had to ask for them over the counter; they didn't have them out on the shelves back then.

    He was appalled when he found the pharmacist was a nice-looking young woman, but since he had a hot date that night, he *needed* those condoms, so he managed to stutter out what he wanted.

    The girl then said, "Small, medium, or large?"

    Ben's brain flatlined momentarily, and pride made him say "large." So she drops a box on the counter. "Large" meant the jumbo box with twelve dozen condoms... considerably more expensive than what he'd planned to purchase, but his pride kept him from saying that wasn't what he meant...

  5. #5
    Cranky Curmudgeon zoom6zoom's Avatar
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    Did you know that those things have expiration dates on them? I don't NEED that kind of pressure!

  6. #6
    HarryFatman HarryFatman's Avatar
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    Talking L.M.A.O.

    Laughing my ass off! Finally a diet I can loose wieght on!!!

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