A guy is sitting at lunch with his friend and tells him: You won't believe what I did yesterday. I was at the airport and as I walked up to the counter, I couldn't believe how beautiful the breasts were on the woman behind the counter. As I got up there and the woman said How may I help you, I was very distracted and said I need two pickets to titsburg...........I mean two tickets to Pittsburg. I apologized to her and she said not to worry, that kind of thing happens to her all the time.
The friend looked back at him and said: That happens to me all the time. Just yesterday, I was sitting at breakfast with my wife and I was trying to say......Please pass the Orange Juice... And it came out "You ruined my life you F...ing bitch.