How to Install a Redneck Security System
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Thread: How to Install a Redneck Security System

  1. #1
    Resident Curmudgeon Karl/PA's Avatar
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    Nov 2005
    South-Central PA
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    Talking How to Install a Redneck Security System

    1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
    2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
    3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
    4.. Leave a note on your door that reads:

    Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
    Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and
    messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell
    from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
    Better wait outside. Be right back.

    I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine. - Ayn Rand

  2. #2
    Hang them high Judge. jimmy t's Avatar
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    Apr 2006
    DFW TX
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    Your in my Mind, and in my Sights

  3. #3
    Gunco Good ole boy kernelkrink's Avatar
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    Jun 2004
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    My friend once owned a wolf, he liked to chew on his dinner bowl. His bowl was a large double wall stainless steel saucepan that had the handle broke off. After he died, they left the deformed and obviously gnawed on bowl out on the front porch along with some clumps of dog hair and a broken collar chained to the railing. No one ever knocks on their door for some reason.

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