A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a
figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first.
They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect. Enjoy these and
learn or ignore them and learn!

* Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and
beat you with experience.

* Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.

* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the

* If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

* We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.

* The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the

* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes
a whole box to start a campfire?

* Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they
can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.

* I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.

* Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy.

* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

* You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to
skydive again.

* The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!

* Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even
if you wish they were.

* I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or
seaweed touches my foot.

* Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

* There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
they can't get away.

* You're never too old to learn something stupid.