Liberal-to-TEXAN TRANSLATIONS
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Thread: Liberal-to-TEXAN TRANSLATIONS

  1. #1
    GuncoHolic Bolt2Bounce2's Avatar
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    Default Liberal-to-TEXAN TRANSLATIONS

    Liberal-to-TEXAN TRANSLATIONS

    Texas has compiled a liberal-to-Texan translation directory (AKA redneck Rosetta Stone). This should be helpful for you Californians as well as you Texans and provide a chuckle for all.

    CALIFORNIA - TEXAS
    Arsenal of Weapons - Gun Collection
    Delicate Wetlands - Swamp
    Undocumented Worker - Illegal Alien
    Cruelty-Free Materials - Synthetic Fiber
    Assault and Battery - Attitude Adjustment
    Heavily Armed - Well-protected
    Narrow-minded - Righteous
    Taxes or Your Fair Share - Coerced Theft
    Commonsense Gun Control - Gun Confiscation Plot
    Illegal Hazardous Explosives - Fireworks for Stump Removal
    Equal Access to Opportunity - Socialism
    Multicultural Community - High Crime Area
    Fairness or Social Progress - Marxism
    Upper Class or "The Rich " - Self-Employed
    Progressive, Change - Big Government Scheme
    Homeless or Disadvantaged - Bums or Welfare Leeches
    Sniper Rifle - Scoped Deer Rifle
    Investment For the Future - Higher Taxes
    Health care Reform - Socialized Medicine
    Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater - Conservative
    Truants Homeschoolers
    Victim or Oppressed - Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothin'
    High Capacity Magazine - Standard Capacity Magazine
    Religious Zealot Church-going
    Fair Trade Coffee - Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
    Exploiters or "The Rich " - Employed or Land Owner
    The Gun Lobby - NRA Members
    Assault Weapon - Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
    Fiscal Stimulus - New Taxes and Higher Taxes -
    Same Sex Marriage - Legalized Perversion
    Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting - Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

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    GuncoHolic BBill's Avatar
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    Great!! They are just not right!

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    No Hope For Me Coils's Avatar
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    Liberal-to-TEXAN TRANSLATIONS
    TEXAN should be replaced with "Everyone Else"
    "Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem" Ronald Reagan

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  5. #4
    TRX
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    CALIFORNIA --- ARKANSAS

    Arsenal of Weapons --- the bedroom closet
    Delicate Wetlands --- mosquito farm
    Cruelty-Free Materials --- polyester
    Assault and Battery --- smack yo up, beeyotch
    Heavily Armed --- more than one full auto
    Narrow-minded --- liberal
    Taxes --- where the Hogs kick ass
    Commonsense Gun Control --- not getting caught poaching
    Multicultural Community --- some liberals live nearby
    Sniper Rifle --- Barrett
    Investment For the Future --- stash under the bed
    Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater --- liberal
    Victim or Oppressed --- liberal
    High Capacity Magazine --- >30 rounds
    Religious Zealot --- snake handlers
    Exploiters or "The Rich" --- Californians
    The Gun Lobby --- foyer of the gun store
    Assault Weapon --- usually full auto
    Fiscal Stimulus --- tax return -
    Same Sex Marriage --- Californians
    Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting --- wax candles

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