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Thread: Jokes

  1. #1
    Gunco Member Alaskan's Avatar
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    Default Jokes

    The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in
    front of a huge crowd.


    The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and said, "Do you know that with
    one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go
    wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go
    deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and
    rejoice!"


    Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of
    your hand....Show me!"


    So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!
    AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was happiness
    throughout the land!


    And one more

    Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D.C., an aide to Nancy Pelosi visited the Bishop of the Catholic cathedral in D.C. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's Mass and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.

    The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi's views." Pelosi's aide then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as ďa saint." The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."

    As Pelosi's aide promised, Nancy Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle.

    As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Ms. Pelosi was present. The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While Ms. Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some; the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her most egregious views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip- flop on many other issues. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self -absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted."

    The Cardinal concluded, "But, when compared with President Obama, Ms. Pelosi is a saint."

  2. #2
    Hang them high Judge. jimmy t's Avatar
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    Very good.
    Your in my Mind, and in my Sights

  3. #3
    GuncoHolic twa2471's Avatar
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    Good stuff, especally the first one!!

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