THREE DOGS AT THE VET.....
This one’s been around before, but still good for a chuckle...
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck
up a conversation. The Yellow Labrador turned to the Black Labrador and said,
" So why are you here ? "
The Black Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the
sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I
pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The Yellow Lab said, " So what’s the vet going to do ? "
" Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the Black Lab.
"They reckon it'll calm me down."
The Black Lab then turned to the Yellow Lab and asked " why are you here ? "
The Yellow Lab said, " I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and
trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets.
But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my
" So what are they going to do to you ? " the Black Lab inquired.
" Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Yellow Lab said.
The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, " Why are you here ? "
" I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a
pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I
Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to
dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and
started hammering away."
The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said,
" So, it's nuts off for you too, huh ?"
The Great Dane said, " No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped ! "
"To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."
Ted Nugent - speaking at the NRA convention April 17, 2005