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Thread: Colonoscopy

  1. #1
    Resident Curmudgeon Karl/PA's Avatar
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    Default Colonoscopy

    After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a colonoscopy in Alabama , I decided to have my next one carried out while visiting friends in San Francisco , where the beautiful nurses are allegedly much more gentle and accommodating.

    As I lay naked on my side on the table, the gorgeous nurse began my procedure.

    "Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection," the nurse told me.

    "I haven't got an erection," I replied.

    "No, but I have," replied the nurse.

    Don't get a colonoscopy in San Francisco
    Karl

    I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine. - Ayn Rand

  2. #2
    GuncoHolic twa2471's Avatar
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    DOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Not Good!!!

  3. #3
    GuncoHolic Tommo's Avatar
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    Great Karl, just what I needed to hear as I am over due for my next one, yukedy, yuk!

  4. #4
    Gunco Regular Shadow Walker's Avatar
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    My last colonscopy was done without medication of any kind. I got to experience the pain as well as listen to the Doc's comments to the nurse.

    There is a lot of pain, but nothing a REAL MAN can't put up with. Unfortunately, that wasn't me.

    Finally, the doc remove the instrument of torture, and laid it aside. I asked him if he was through. He replied ... "NO, that was just practice".

    While I was thinking of how to kill him, he turned to the nurse and said, "Nobody ever laughs when I say that".

    I still didn't laugh.

    What else isn't funny, is that I have another colonscopy scheduled next week. Yeap, they will put me to sleep this time.
    Last edited by Shadow Walker; 07-01-2012 at 01:49 PM.

  5. #5
    Gunco Regular Rikoshay's Avatar
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    The worst part is the prep! Running to the toilet every 15 minutes and your colon emptying like a fire hose for 12 hours prior is not fun. I didn't sleep at all, I couldn't sleep! Just when you think you crapped your guts completely out it's time to hit the toilet again. Then at 3am when you think it's finally over..........nope!!!!! At about 5am I fell into a semi-sleep on the toilet. Woke up 30 minutes later and my legs had gone to sleep.

  6. #6
    Gunco Veteran perry's Avatar
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    nope, its the surprise prostate exaime. boy talk about coming off the table.

  7. #7
    GuncoHolic BBill's Avatar
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    My daughter told me they ask questions and people say all kinds of crazy stuff--some without even being asked? That scared the hell out of me.

  8. #8
    GuncoHolic twa2471's Avatar
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    Colonoscopy,,,, don't need no stinking colonoscopy,,,,, I'm a Perfect asshole already,,,,Ask anyone!!!!

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