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Thread: Common Sense's Obituary

  1. #1
    The Anti-Terrorist Abukai08's Avatar
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    Default Common Sense's Obituary

    February 7, 2012

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
    with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
    records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as
    having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

    - Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
    - Why the early bird gets the worm;
    - Life isn't always fair;
    - And maybe it was my fault.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
    you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
    regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual
    harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
    mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
    only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
    they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

    It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to
    administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents
    when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and
    criminals received better treatment than their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
    in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
    that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap,
    launched a lawsuit and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death,
    -by his parents, Truth and Trust,
    -by his wife, Discretion,
    -by his daughter, Responsibility,
    -and by his son, Reason.

    He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
    - I Know My Rights
    - I Want It Now
    - Someone Else Is To Blame
    - I'm A Victim
    - Pay me for Doing Nothing

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
    "What country can preserve its liberties if its rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance?" -Thomas Jefferson-


    "Our rights come from our humanity and may not be legislated away -- not by a vote of Congress, not by the consensus of our neighbors, not even by agreement of all Americans but one." Judge Andrew P. Napolitano

  2. #2
    jrs
    jrs is offline
    B.U.F. (Bald, Ugly, Fat) jrs's Avatar
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    F'ing great... I'm going to shamelessly steal this and send to everyone I know.
    jrs
    --
    "A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within.", Will Durant

    "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.", Edmund Burke

  3. #3
    GuncoHolic twa2471's Avatar
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    Save it to my favorites and will be useing this too.

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