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Thread: And God Created Children

  1. #1
    Resident Curmudgeon Karl/PA's Avatar
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    Default And God Created Children

    GOD CREATED CHILDREN
    (and in the process grandchildren)

    To those of us who have children in our lives,
    whether they are our own, grandchildren,
    nieces, nephews, or students...
    here is something to make you chuckle.

    Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

    After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

    And the first thing he said was 'DON'T! '

    'Don't what ?' Adam replied.

    'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said.

    'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! '

    ' No Way ! '

    'Yes way! '

    'Do NOT eat the fruit! ' said God.

    'Why not? '

    'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering
    why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

    A few minutes later, God saw His children
    having an apple break and He was ticked!

    'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? ' God asked.

    'Uh huh,' Adam replied.
    'Then why did you? ' said the Father.

    'I don't know,' said Eve.

    'She started it! ' Adam said.

    'Did not ! '

    'Did too! '

    'DID NOT! '

    Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

    Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

    If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom
    and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

    If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think
    it would be a piece of cake for you ?

    THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
    1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

    2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

    3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

    4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
    word for word what you shouldn't have said.

    5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
    is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

    6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

    ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

    Be nice to your kids..
    They will choose your nursing home one day!

    AND FINALLY:

    IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
    DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

    'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!
    Karl

    I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine. - Ayn Rand

  2. #2
    Gunco Regular Akfite's Avatar
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    I like that one thanks Karl
    Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have. The course of history shows that as a government grows, LIBERTY DECREASES."

    Thomas Jefferson

  3. #3
    GuncoHolic Tommo's Avatar
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    Default

    Thanks Karl!

  4. #4
    Gunco Member armaliteno's Avatar
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    haha

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