“I want to start by saying that I am in total agreement with President Obama concerning his desire to ban guns. I think only the government should have them. Toward that end I submit the following:
“I move that we eliminate from American history EVERY mention of guns! That means that all gun-nuts must be expunged from our records.
“These lunatics include such people as Washington, Revere, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt among many others. These jerks loved guns! Reading their writings you will find many positive mentions of firearms. Some of these creeps were members of militias and none of them were heros!
“To me it is abhorrent that today we place their images on our coins and currency so that we are constantly reminded of them. Every time I make a purchase, there’s a gun-nut looking at me. I believe that these gun-toters should be removed from our money
“I also think that our history books should be re-written to eliminate every memory of these gun-lovers. It should be against the law to even mention their foul names. Burn all books that mention guns or gun owners.
“I further believe that their faces should be removed from Mount Rushmore and replaced by such wonderful gun-grabbers as Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Sarah Brady, Diane Swinestein and President Obama.
"And, why do so called 'hunters' have to kill animals? Why don't they buy their meat at the store like I do? They always have plenty.
“Finally, I propose that the Second Amendment of the so-called Bill of Rights be ELIMINATED!
“I really don’t understand how we can ever eliminate guns if we continue to honor gun-nuts.
“Sincerely yours; Ann Oogly Purson”