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Thread: Does she love me?

  1. #1
    Gunco Regular dario541's Avatar
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    Feb 2013
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    Default Does she love me?

    A while back the phone rang and I answered it. Some guy asked me if the coast was clear?
    “How do I know?” I answered, “I’m not a weatherman.
    The other day my wife’s bridge club met at our house. I decided to come in the back door so that I wouldn’t disturb them.
    I heard a lady say: “Your husband looks intelligent to me. I bet he knows lots of stuff.”
    “Naw,” my wife replied, “He doesn’t suspect a thing!”
    My wife won’t drink from a glass after I use it, but, she lets the dog lick her face.
    Recently she told me to take out the garbage. I told I already did that. Then she told me to go out and keep an eye on it!
    We were eating in a restaurant and I was really enjoying the barbecue. My wife told me to wipe off my face, I had a mess on it. I told her that the problem was I have a small mouth; it’s harder to hit a small target. I told her: “Look how lucky you are. You have a big mouth!” But, for some reason that made her mad!
    She claims that I never did anything for her. I said that I did something for her that nobody else would do.
    “What was that?” she asked.
    “I married you!”
    “Well, I sure wish we hadn’t got married!”
    “Finally we agree on something!”
    We were once arguing and she said: “I don’t know why I married you. My mother told me no to.”
    I replied: “Boy, I’ve always had the wrong opinion about that old walrus; she was on my side all along!”
    All of our troubles stem from a couple of words I said before her many years ago. Oh, the words? “I DO!”
    She once told me that she didn’t have to marry me, that there were others interested in her.
    I asked: “who was it? My friend Freddy?”
    “No,” she replied.
    “Was it my friend Raymond?”
    “Well, then was it my friend Kirby?”
    “Listen to me, you idiot! Don’t you think I have any friends of my own?
    She once asked me if I thought that married men live longer than single men. I told he “No, it only seems that way!”
    One time she hit me over the head with a vase and I was unconscious for 3 days. It was the best 3 days of our marriage so far.
    On TV the other day they said that accumulated belly fat is caused by having children.
    “There’s my problem,” I said, “I have the same number of kids (6) as you do!”
    My wife is so narrow minded that she can look through a key hole with both eyes!
    Anyhow, I wonder if she still loves me?

  2. #2
    Gunco Member wpage's Avatar
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    Feb 2013
    Stouts Creek
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    Yes, thats real love...
    God so loved the world He gave his only Son...
    ...Believe in Him and have everlasting life.
    John 3:16

  3. #3
    GuncoHolic Tommo's Avatar
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    Mar 2004
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    3 (100%)



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