A wife, being the romantic sort sent her husband a text:
If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you!
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied;
"I am sitting on the toilet. Please advise".