"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."
1. You refine heroin for a living, but have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a £2,000 machine gun and £1,000 rocket launcher, but can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your backside with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You are amazed to discover that mobile phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.