Brief history lesson...

For those that don't know about history, here is acondensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of smallbands ofnomadichunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in themountains during the summer and wouldgo to the coastandlive on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of historywere theinventionofbeerand the invention of the wheel. Thewheel wasinvented to get man to the beer. These werethefoundations of modern civilization and togetherwere the catalyst for thesplitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beerwas discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.Neither the glass bottlenor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sittingaround waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to thebrewery. That's how villageswereformed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement....

Other men
who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQsand doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing.This was the beginning of the Liberalmovement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men.Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, grouphugs, and the conceptof Democratic voting to decide how to dividethe meatand beerthat conservativesprovided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful landanimal on earth, the elephant.Liberals are symbolized by the jackassfor obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with limeadded), but mostprefer white wineor imported bottled water. They eat raw fish
but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food is standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have highertestosterone levels than theirmen.Mostsocial workers,personal injury attorneys,journalists, dreamersin Hollywoodand group therapists are liberals.Liberalsinvented the designated hitterrule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer,mostly Bud orMiller, vodka, and Jack Daniels. They eat red meatand still provide for their women. Conservatives are biggame hunters,rodeo cowboys,lumberjacks, construction workers,firemen, medical doctors, police officers,engineers, corporate executives, athletes,members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little. They prefer to govern the producers...and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe whenconservatives were coming to America .They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created abusiness of trying to get something for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other truebelievers and to more liberals just to piss them off.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self.....I'm going to have another beer!