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Thread: Jenny Craig for men

  1. #1
    Gunco Member rimfire's Avatar
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    Default Jenny Craig for men

    JENNY CRAIG FOR MEN

    I called the company and ordered their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

    The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before me a
    voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike
    running shoes and a sign around her neck.


    She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

    The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'

    Without a second thought, I took off after her. A few miles later huffing
    and puffing, I finally gave up.


    The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

    On the fifth day, I weighed myself and am delighted to find I
    lost 10 lbs. as promised.


    I called the company and ordered their 5-day/20 pound program.

    The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning,
    beautiful, sexy woman I have ever seen in my life. She is wearing nothing
    but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you
    catch me you can have me'.


    Well, I'm out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape
    and I do my best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same
    routine happens and I'm gradually getting in better and better shape.


    Much to my delight on the fifth day when I weigh myself, I discover that I
    have lost another 20 lbs. as promised. So I decide to go for broke and called
    the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.


    "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most
    rigorous program."


    "Absolutely," I replied, "I haven't felt this good in years."

    The next day there's a knock at the door; and when I open it I find a huge
    muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a
    sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you,... you're mine."


    I lost 63 pounds that week.

    Signed,

    Skinny Hugo

  2. #2
    Gunco Veteran stalker1's Avatar
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    Holy dear mother to God! I just fell down I was roflmao!

  3. #3
    Gunco Regular XSapper's Avatar
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    I think I'll stay away from the 7day/ 50 pound plan!
    I'd rather be a "has been" than a wannabe!

    2TIMOTHY2,4 No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairsof this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.

    God, Guns and Guts made America free,
    Lets keep all three.

  4. #4
    Gunco Regular Ken3030's Avatar
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    Funny! LMAO
    “The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil interference- they deserve a place of honor with all that is good.” George Washington

    "A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government."
    George Washington

  5. #5
    Administrator sniper69's Avatar
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    I think I'd be happy with losing 30 lbs from the first two programs.
    "To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."
    Ted Nugent - speaking at the NRA convention April 17, 2005

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