This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left
and there was a woman In a brand new Cadillac doing
65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror
putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away For a couple seconds to continue shaving
and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane,
still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily, but she scared me so much
I had to put on my seat belt and I dropped my electric shaver
which knocked the donut out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car
using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my
cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee
between my legs!
Splashed and burned Big John and the Twins, ruined the
darn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an
Damn women drivers!