saying the right thing at the right time...
Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night of his office
Christmas party. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing
sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when
sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and
notices a note on the table, "Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to
shopping-- Love you."
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and
morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"
Jack's son answers "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of
You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye
you ran into the door!"
Jack says, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I
red rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to
your pants off, you screamed," 'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!'"
Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time . . .
"To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."
Ted Nugent - speaking at the NRA convention April 17, 2005