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Here’s some new medical news, [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain… GOOD!
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTEN!!! Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO… Cocoa bean! Vegetable!!! Cocoa bean best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale.
__________________ When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America , you get a front row seat. - George Carlin
we got some of these around here. small town doctors. there great if your not very sick!
one of my uncles liked to go to this doctor that would say--"your fit as a fiddle, pick up that carton of smokes, 1/2 gallon jug of whiskey and they got a sale on pork-chops over at the big easy grocery!"
of course their both gone now---
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