Banned from Church
A couple wanted to join the church. The pastor told them, "We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month."
The couple agreed, but two-and-a-half weeks returned to the church. The wife was crying, and the husband was obviously very depressed. "You are back so
soon. Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.
"We are ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex one whole month," the man replied sadly.
The pastor asked what happened. "Well, the first week was difficult. However, we managed to abstain through willpower. The second week was terrible, but the use of prayer helped us.
"However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading the Bible, anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts. But, one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust, and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted over an hour, and when we were done, we were both drenched in sweat," admitted the man
shamefully."
The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means you are not welcome in our church."
"We know," said the young man, hanging his head. "We're not welcome at Home Depot, either."
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Colonel Jimbo From the Land of the Wurts in Northeast Kentucky
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