Baptist Dinner Party
A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The Lady of the House was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, 'No mushrooms. They are too high.'
He said, 'Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.'
She said, 'No, some wild mushrooms are poison.'
He said, 'Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK.' So Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, diced them for her smothered steak . Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the Yard dog) a double handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite.
All morning long,Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.
After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played 42 and dominoes. About then, the helper lady from town came in and whispered in Janet's ear.
She said, 'Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died.'
Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, 'That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.'
Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person in to the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, 'I think everything will be fine now,' and he left.
They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and said, 'You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped.
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Colonel Jimbo From the Land of the Wurts in Northeast Kentucky
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