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Old 01-28-2013, 10:17 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default A different kind of Super Bowl

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
...
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
'Touchdown, tie score.'

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,
'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the bed.

The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
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Old 01-28-2013, 11:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default

A queer walks into a bar, and a trucker on the end says "We don't serve fags in here"

The prance says "Tell ya what mister, we'll play a game of barroom football...Looser has to leave"

The trucker looks puzzled and says "barroom football? What the hell is that?"

The little mincer says, "well, to score you drink a shot, and run around the room. That's 6 points for a touchdown. To score a point for the field goal, you drop your pants, bend over and fart...tada, 7 points"

The trucker said "I'll do it, I know I can out drink your pansy ass"

The fag says "OK, I'll go first" He slams the shot, runs around the room, drops his pant's and bends over and farts. "7 to 0" he says...

The trucker shakes his head, pounds the shot, runs around the room, drops his pants, and before he can fart, the fag has his hands on the truckers hips and he's yelling "Block that kick, block that kick!"
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