The economy is soo bad
- I got a PRE-declined credit card in the mail
-Wives are having sex with their husbands because they cant afford batteries
-I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that
-CEOs are now playing miniature golf
-B.P. laid off 25 Congressmen
-My ATM gave me an IOU
-A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced
-I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife
- If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds", you call and ask if they meant you or them
- McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer
-Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America
-Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their childrens names
-My cousin had an exorcism but couldnt afford to pay for it, and they RE-possessed her
-A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico
-Motel Six wont leave the light on anymore
-A picture is now only worth 200 words
-They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street"
- The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates
-I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them that I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if i could drive a truck.......
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