HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
 

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine, and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke, Slim and me went to the gun shop for more ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls, they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.


PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside

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I already got all that stuff, I just gotta get the sign made up!

I've also heard that hanging an engine block from a tree in your yard is a good idea.

that might be a good idea. My wife was hounding me about all my empty jack bottles the biker boots and my soldier of fortune mags on the front porch anyways.

The spring pole out back for the pit dogs to hang on, and the obsticle courses are a nice touch to our place. ''Security K9 on premises''Nevermind the sign on the back door that says ''Play it safe, we have guns and will not hesitate to kill you!'' The UPS man doesn't even knock. The Johova Witnesses cross the street as they walk by. I think it's humorous.

Heck - We don't get any door to door solicitors. :D

That's because you probly qualify for most of the above. Right?

Yes and no. :D :D

Well, actually, one of the Jahovas Witnesses is ok.

When I see those ladies coming up the drive, I answer the door in my fruit of the looms & ask if they have any of them cute young girlies with them.:brows: :eek:

Now that is a mental image I didn't need :brows: . Unless of course you have the fruit of the looms guys singing in your yard. :rofl: :rofl: