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07-02-2007, 06:32 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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GuncoHolic
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,602
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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine, and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke, Slim and me went to the gun shop for more ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls, they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside
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I already got all that stuff, I just gotta get the sign made up!
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07-02-2007, 06:46 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Always sore, always tired
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Missouri/ Ark border
Posts: 5,791
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I've also heard that hanging an engine block from a tree in your yard is a good idea.
__________________
" Save a tree...........Eat A Beaver!"
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07-02-2007, 07:16 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Gunco Regular
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 522
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that might be a good idea. My wife was hounding me about all my empty jack bottles the biker boots and my soldier of fortune mags on the front porch anyways.
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07-02-2007, 08:48 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Gunco Good ole boy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,352
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The spring pole out back for the pit dogs to hang on, and the obsticle courses are a nice touch to our place. ''Security K9 on premises''Nevermind the sign on the back door that says ''Play it safe, we have guns and will not hesitate to kill you!'' The UPS man doesn't even knock. The Johova Witnesses cross the street as they walk by. I think it's humorous.
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07-02-2007, 09:01 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Was Germany, now Ohio
Posts: 5,920
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Heck - We don't get any door to door solicitors. 
__________________
"To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."
Ted Nugent - speaking at the NRA convention April 17, 2005
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07-02-2007, 09:18 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Gunco Good ole boy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,352
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sniper69
Heck - We don't get any door to door solicitors. |
That's because you probly qualify for most of the above. Right? |
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07-02-2007, 09:44 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Was Germany, now Ohio
Posts: 5,920
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by tanvil
That's because you probly qualify for most of the above. Right?
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Yes and no.
__________________
"To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."
Ted Nugent - speaking at the NRA convention April 17, 2005
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07-02-2007, 09:51 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Gunco Good ole boy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,352
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Well, actually, one of the Jahovas Witnesses is ok.
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07-02-2007, 11:09 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Always sore, always tired
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Missouri/ Ark border
Posts: 5,791
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by tanvil
Well, actually, one of the Jahovas Witnesses is ok.
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When I see those ladies coming up the drive, I answer the door in my fruit of the looms & ask if they have any of them cute young girlies with them.  
__________________
" Save a tree...........Eat A Beaver!"
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07-02-2007, 11:16 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Was Germany, now Ohio
Posts: 5,920
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Bradrock
When I see those ladies coming up the drive, I answer the door in my fruit of the looms & ask if they have any of them cute young girlies with them. |
Now that is a mental image I didn't need . Unless of course you have the fruit of the looms guys singing in your yard. 
__________________
"To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."
Ted Nugent - speaking at the NRA convention April 17, 2005
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