How to speak PC

[Sandy]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or "MOANER" - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not "EASY" - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..

4. She is not 'DUMB" - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not "NAG YOU" - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10. She is not a "SLUT" - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED..

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT WHORE" - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

13. She is not a "LESBIAN" - She is a "VAGITARIAN".



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION..

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" -He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN! DRUNK" - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants....It is MALE CLEAVAGE.