Liberal-to-TEXAN TRANSLATIONS

[Bolt2bounce]

Liberal-to-TEXAN TRANSLATIONS

Texas has compiled a liberal-to-Texan translation directory (AKA redneck Rosetta Stone). This should be helpful for you Californians as well as you Texans and provide a chuckle for all.

CALIFORNIA - TEXAS
Arsenal of Weapons - Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands - Swamp
Undocumented Worker - Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials - Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery - Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed - Well-protected
Narrow-minded - Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share - Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control - Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives - Fireworks for Stump Removal
Equal Access to Opportunity - Socialism
Multicultural Community - High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress - Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich " - Self-Employed
Progressive, Change - Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged - Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle - Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future - Higher Taxes
Health care Reform - Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater - Conservative
Truants Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed - Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothin'
High Capacity Magazine - Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot Church-going
Fair Trade Coffee - Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich " - Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby - NRA Members
Assault Weapon - Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus - New Taxes and Higher Taxes -
Same Sex Marriage - Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting - Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

[BBill]

Great!! They are just not right!

[Coils]

Liberal-to-TEXAN TRANSLATIONS

TEXAN should be replaced with "Everyone Else"

[TRX]

CALIFORNIA --- ARKANSAS

Arsenal of Weapons --- the bedroom closet
Delicate Wetlands --- mosquito farm
Cruelty-Free Materials --- polyester
Assault and Battery --- smack yo up, beeyotch
Heavily Armed --- more than one full auto
Narrow-minded --- liberal
Taxes --- where the Hogs kick ass
Commonsense Gun Control --- not getting caught poaching
Multicultural Community --- some liberals live nearby
Sniper Rifle --- Barrett
Investment For the Future --- stash under the bed
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater --- liberal
Victim or Oppressed --- liberal
High Capacity Magazine --- >30 rounds
Religious Zealot --- snake handlers
Exploiters or "The Rich" --- Californians
The Gun Lobby --- foyer of the gun store
Assault Weapon --- usually full auto
Fiscal Stimulus --- tax return -
Same Sex Marriage --- Californians
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting --- wax candles